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This past weekend we had visitors. Our family friends stopped by while visiting in New York. They stayed for a couple of days. The boy who came to visit is about my age, maybe a year older. His name is Emile, sounds a tad feminie I know. Speaking of which he has feminine facial features except he has facial hair. What an awkward comment. I had blast with him. My mom, his mom, Emile and I walked around Boston for a bit after my haircut (yes I got a hair cut, since my hair curls it looks short like a bob). Afterwards we went to the beach where we had a fun time because Steph joined us and got us to communicate with each other. I spent most of my time trying to drown Steph though unfortunately I did not succeed as planned. Afterwards we played catch and frisbee. Needless to say, I think I played frisbee pretty well. No deaths so far. Then we came home and we had an enormous dinner of lobster, chicken, and lots of other food. Which was tasty. We got Steph and my conservative grandmother to try lobster, they were okay with it. That day, I finished watching the old Star Wars trilogy of episodes 4, 5, and 6. I loved them. Everyone got to see Episode 6 which I believe they enjoyed. This past weekend I got to watch a lot of late night TV like Pirates of the Carribean which I finished watching at 3 AM. 

On a completely other note. 
I can feel Autumn creeping on. It is chilly outside today, just like autumn. For some reason that makes me a bit sentimental. I really do not know why since it is my favorite season. Oh well we shall see. In a few days I leave for Portugal where hopefully it will be warmer so I'll get over it.

I'm not going to be very specific in this entry.

I am happy that I finally finished US History, sort of. I actually really liked the class and I wish it went on for longer.

In other news my head is packed with a potential person that I like but it all gets very confusing. There are times when I really like this person but other times when I think that it isn't worth it. My other fear is that they will find out that I like them and that they will react negatively. There is only one road block... The person is a tad awkward. Ah, teen angst and teen confusion at its finest.

I am happy to finally start my other summer assignments, not. I am half way through French and I started Bio. Oy.

Gosh darn I think I like them at this current moment. Uggg why?
Yoda is my criteria for my perfect man and I think he fits it. There might be another contender. This sounds a tad stupid but I think I need a boyfriend or something to replace my lonely heart. Wow that sentence just made me shed a tear. OK back to being happy or semi happy.

I finished writing my thesis! Yay! It is 21 and one third pages which I am very proud of because I did not know I was able to do that. Apparently I am. Now I have to mosey onto my other summer assignments such as French and Bio. But I started those already so it is all good. Yep that is all for now... If you have any questions concerning my summer I will be sure to answer them in my next post. ;)

This never happened to me before...

Ah summer.  Most would say that it is a time to relax and to catch up on your reading. A time to try new sports and activities. A time to vacation, even. To me summer is a whole new academic experience. Yes, I am taking US History over the summer at North. I really like the course and the teacher. It's as if my love for history has suddenly reawakened from its long hibernation. The best part is that most of my friends are in the classroom with me. The biggest benefit of the class is that I get to finish my Junior Thesis and not worry about it during the school year. I'm really excited about my topic.

In other news...
My summer traveling has gotten off to a good start. On Monday July 3rd I went to the Cape and then I came back the next day. Rule of thumb is that you have to go to the Cape at least once during the summer. This past weekend I went camping with my family and two other families. I haven't spoken to the children of our family friends in 3 years or more. the girls who went on the trip were pretty nice but I was never really close with them. At the beginning of the trip, I was very excited because I would get a chance to see an old guy friend of mine who stopped talking to me in 8th grade for reasons which I do not wish to share. I thought our relationship would be fixed now since we have matured in the past years, but apparently not. That ended up ruining my trip. On the bright side, I got a chance to try out water skiing which turned out to be very fun. I also got a chance to drive a motor boat which was amazing,

Have you ever wanted something that was unattainable? I take it you have. Especially if it is something you once had but then you ended up losing. The theory that sometimes there is no second chance in life has once again been proven to me. I still can't believe that I thought something would change. I was hopeful and apparently being hopeful isn't always enough to getting what you want. You have to let it be. I've gotten around to thinking about old friends and how in theory they want to be as close as they were before but they both know they never will be. If you think about how many friends a person loses in a lifetime the numbers will be over 20. Isn't that sad? What I find more aggravating is that it is impossible for me to have a civilized conversation with someone I used to be friends with. It's odd but yet it somehow makes sense.

Have you ever lost a friend who you had a crush on? Let me tell you, those friendships are impossible to fix unless you have amazing social skills. I personally failed. This was during the camping trip by the way. I saw myself acting very strangely because of it. I was quiet and my appetite was smaller than it was at home. I also had a very serious adrenaline rush which makes no sense whatsoever. I was also terribly emotional. Basically I felt like a three year old since I was whining and complaining the whole trip. I think my parents wanted to slap me then. Throughout the whole trip I had a strong urge to cry however I kept it in until the car ride back. I eventually got over it though.

This past weekend I also watch the final match of the World Cup. I left very upset and I almost lost my sunglasses, my Ipod, and my Yoda shirt. If Zidane didn't get the red card France would have won. Ugfgggghjhhh stupid Italians. I am so angry. But now I am over it.
I am in a very poetic mood today. It makes me smile. Sort of. Finals are making me very stressed out, all I want to do right now is read a book. My Finals soundtracks are Abbey Road, Please Please Me, Beatles 1, Revolver, Beatles for Sale, White Album, Yellow Submarine, and 1962-1966. Notice how they are Beatles, I am a nerd. I can't wait to have intellectual conversations in a park while lying down in the grass, I'll have to wait a week for that. I'll live. 

Jun. 4th, 2006

I would like to wish a VERY EXTRASUPERDUPER 
Happy Birthday to Bonny!

Jun. 2nd, 2006

SAT II's tomorrow.

Yes so in short my week was VERY tiring. I took a four hour nap today. That was clearly not enough because I am still exhausted.

There is one quote which I have been thinking about a lot lately: 

                         Le plus important ce n'est pas de mentir a soi-meme. - Le Papillion

This quote can be translated into, "The most important thing is not to lie to yourself."

My  mind is centered around this quote because there is one major thing which I am afraid to share with everyone. This would contradict everything I have said before now and some people might view me differently. It's not especially important because the statement is way too radical and it doesn't make sense. Basically, in mathematical terms this "problem" I have is a limit: I will never be able to reach that goal even if I try super hard. It just won't work. 

It doesn't matter if you have absolutely no clue what I am talking about, I won't bother tell anyone what I mean by this entry anyway. It's complicated. This is all I want people knowing.

LJ is my therapy, strangely, because I'm not talking to a specific person but rather I am talking to bulletin center where I can vent.

By the way, this isn't a BIG problem. It's a very small problem. Similar to a difficult problem on a math test.

In response to Emma's LJ...
My LJ username is my nickname and my birthdate. Paco... I'm not going explain it, it takes too long.

Yeah so I haven't been up to much besides homework in the last few months. Personally it is very exhausting but in all honesty I find it much more comforting than interacting with people. In no way am I saying that EVERYONE I interact with is absolutely horrid but a few people tend to annoy me here and there. The people who read this LJ are not ones that I find annoying. When you get caught up in work, such as homework, you might forget how bad someone is in carrying through with plans. When you actually muster the strength and time to hang out witht his person they willingly agree and then they proceed to let you down at the last minute. If you don't want to hang out with someone wouldn't it be more logical to reject the offer right away rather than waiting a few hours before the actual meeting to do so? 

In the past months I have realized that I don't have as much to say to people as I used to. Some people come to me looking for comfort and I really have no advice to give to them other than some optimistic words and someone to listen to them.

Looking at someone else's LJ entry, I have realized that I also do not know what I want. I have absolutely no idea, as a matter of fact. The heat isn't helping either. All I really want is for school to end and for everything to go back to normal.

On a happier note, most things are in perspective for me as of now (besides the ones listed above). Thank you long weekends!


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