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The ambiguous ramblings of a high school FRZEAK! That shiuld be the title of my LJ if it could have a title. I was reading my old entries and I relaized that I don't know what I am talking about when I look back. They don't make any sense anymore. They just fill up space. That's the thing with some memories, they are completely useless when you forget why you were in such a horrid state and why you were sad. 

Now to fill up more space...

Apparently the saying "You are what you eat" should be changed "You are your worst nightmare". That sounds very harsh. It isn't meant to sound harsh. I've just noticed that I've always looked down on people who take Junior Prom too seriously. Apparently, I have turned into one of them. Almost... I can still scoff at those who take a limo to the junior semi-formal.
I am terribly excited about CHALK. It is amazing for many reasons, partially because all of my favorite teachers are in it, besides Engborg. Being emo is fun, I tried it for a day, I ended up getting chocolate. For some reason, this radio station that I'm listening to seems to find 1992 amazing... Care to clue me on this? Castles are fun! I want to live in one.

It's true that The Fray is generally a whiney band but they have a really good choice for somg lyrics for the song "How to Save of a Life". The first time I heard it, it got me really depressed, I still don't know why. I'm back to accepting them as one of the weird whiney bands of 2007.

Konichiwa 私の友人 (my friends)

I am currently learning Japanese which is amazing. I know a few words. Anyway off to commemorate my livejournal entry to something useful- The Yule Log.

A Yule log is a type of cake which is prepared during Christmas time. It is also the highlight of the rest of my week. Instead of catching up on my work and studying for my test in Chemistry which I do not want to fail, I will be baking a cake. A useless cake. Oh joy. Now where to get the supplies? Hmm I do not know. Sounds fun though, anything involving procrastination is fun. I am also reading Neil Geiman who is very good, Also another procrastination source, youpee! The results for my position on the Newtonite are coming out soon, I am very nervous. If I don't get what I want to get (very descriptive I know, Ms. Beh loves it), I will be a paper pusher for eternity. *Insert racist comment here (actually please don't).

Irish digestive biscuits are delish. I have been craving one every since yesterday, in my opinion you can have it with either cheese or with tea. I might be wrong. I probably am because I'm not Irish and yesterday was my first time trying one. 

Also, what is it that people have with the Scarlet Letter? Honestly, the book is not that bad. I actually like it. His language is florid, it's true, but his points and ideas are good. I mean there has to be a reason for why people have spent 200 years reading it. 

For those who wish to learn Japanese and a taste of anime (yes Anime), download the podcast called JapanCast.net. The lady who speaks has an interesting Japanese accent while her husband tries to know Japanese but constantly gets owned by his wife. Sound familiar?

Nov. 24th, 2006

I just came to a scary realization regarding Thanksgiving...

My family has never done the breaking of the wishbone.
Branching off from what I said earlier...

These truly are confusing times. I always seem to plan to do one thing but then I do the complete opposite. Sort of pathetic actually. I'm pathetic. See, now, I'm so confused that I don't actually remember the point of this entry.

Whatevs, the only realm that doesn't confuse me is homework, I should probably go do it now but I don't want to. There is too much on my mind.

I'm in a rut. I am being so indecisive that it is actually driving me insane, this would explain why I act so wild in school. Usually I can decide things pretty well but here it is just too hard because both choices are equally great and if I choose one then I will be devasted that I can't have both. And there is always the third factor... An option that I don't want to choose at all, and yet it's present for some odd and annoying reason. Basically I'm split between two choices, both of which I want, and a third choice which I wish did not exist because life would be a lot easier. It's sort of obvious where I'm going, nowhere, so basically I'll let the situation zoom off at snail speed. ZOINK!

I can't stand to fly...

So I am turning sixteen soon and I have gotten around to thinking, yes I don't do that very often so that is quite a landmark in my life.
Now onto my cliche statement of the day...
People say that high school is a time to find yourself, i disagree with that completely. High school is NOT a time to find yourself because most people end up revamping themselves in the summer before college. Okay I'm done with that. 

I guess there is some sort of confusion that comes when you are 16. You start to wonder what your purpose is and how you want to fulfill your goals. You are overwhelmed by the things being thrown at you and you don't understand how to take things one step at a time and yet it seems to work out anyway. 

My current state is confusion. I have no idea where I am heading. Actually I do. It's not a good direction, but I'm working on it. 

I'm getting really annoyed with standradized tests. After all, do they really have a purpose? Ok so they test your aptitude for a particular college or course but does it really matter when you grow up? Some one who went to the University of Nebraska could easily become a CEO of a big company while a Harvard grad could have absolutely nothing. 

Oy my head is spinning.
In response to Steph's post...
I basically have to say the same thing.

I am overloaded with homework and I still need to do sooo much other stuff like Math Team and study for the SAT and the PSAT which are coming up soon. The maximum amount of sleep I get per night is about 5 hours which is not good at all. However, not to sound nerdy, but I like school and the homework itself isn't that annoying. 

I feel apathetic towards life and people right now, like RIGHT NOW. I am very friendly though to people. I just want to be alone sometimes. Speaking of which, I do not have a social life, not that I need one. I also want something, something marvelous to happen but it won't. And I don't exactly know for sure what it is that I want to happen. I have a pretty good idea but it varies very often. I do not know.
I were a Dead Russian Composer, I would be Modest Mussorgsky.I am a Romantic period psycho who's drunk more often than not. I died of this affliction, not surprisingly. My famous works include "Night on Bald Mountain" and "Pictures at an Exhibition."

I love how this fits me so well. Seriously.


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